the most grown-up cosmic brownies ever

grown-up cosmic brownies for your inner child // Glazed & Confused

My dad thinks that my life is spiraling out of control and that I'm failing out of school. Rest assured, I'm not. Sure, I'm definitely a tad bit overdramatic and telling him that I totally failed my midterms didn't help, but he should know by now that "failing" in my mind means getting a B. Yes, even I can agree that I've definitely been off my routine lately, been going out too much, skipping my pilates classes too regularly, et cetera, but dude.... chill out. (Oh and about that giant hickey I came home with last weekend.... oops?)

I always say that March and October are the two most hectic, nerve-wracking months of the entire year. This year hasn't been any different. School is crazy. Life is crazy. My roots are crazy. Everything is crazy.

This past weekend I came to the realization that even though this break from the regularly scheduled program that is my life was much needed, getting my shit together is even more necessary. First things first —for the love of God please stop me from making an Iggy Azalea reference right now — I've got to reconcile with my beautiful KitchenAid. She thinks I've been cheating on her lately.... so I made some brownies as a peace offering!!!

valrhona crunchy pearls // Glazed & Confused


I've been super inspired by my childhood lately, and when I say that I mean the part of my childhood where my brother and I would polish off a whole box of Cosmic Brownies in one night. I made a personal vow to never eat store-bought desserts in high school, so I've been on a mission to bring Cosmic Brownies back into my life in the most bougie and pretentious way possible. How did I do that exactly? Hella browned butter, some really expensive cocoa powder, salted caramelized milk chocolate ganache, and about 40-plus dollars of Valrhona chocolate stuffed in, around, and on top. Yep, I'm that guy. 

Brb, I've got to tend to these heinous roots. No really, they're so far gone that I can't even write them off as natural ombré anymore. In the meantime, make these brownies! You can even call me Little Debbie. Miss Deborah if you're nasty.

grown-up cosmic brownies for your inner child // Glazed & Confused

Grown-up Cosmic Brownies

Chocolate Brownies

  • 10 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1 ¼ cups granulated sugar
  • ¾ cups unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1/4 tsp. baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp. espresso powder
  • 2 tsp. vanilla bean paste or extract
  • 2 large eggs, cold
  • 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
  • ⅔ cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/3 cup chopped Valrhona Caramelia
  • 1/3 cup chopped Valrhona Dulcey 

Preheat oven to 325F and line an 8×8 baking pan with parchment paper.

In a medium-sized saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Cook the butter, whisking constantly, until  golden brown. 

In a large mixing bowl, combine the browned butter with the sugar, cocoa powder, salt, baking powder, espresso powder, and vanilla. Whisk until smooth and set aside to cool for a few minutes. Add one egg at a time, mixing thoroughly in between each addition. Mix in the oil. Sift in flour and mix with a wooden spoon for fifty strokes, until the batter is thick and glossy. Fold in the chocolate.

Pour the brownie batter into the prepared pan and bake for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and set aside to cool while you prepare the ganache.

Salted Caramelia Ganache

In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the chocolate, cream, butter and salt, cooking until melted. Whisk the mixture until smooth. Pour the ganache over the brownies. Working quickly, spread the ganache evenly over the brownies. 

Immediately transfer the brownies into the refrigerator or freezer to set. This should take between 30 minutes and 1 hour. Sprinkle on chocolate pearls halfway through. When you’re ready to serve, bring the brownies to room temperature and cut into squares.

magic bar milkshakes

magic bar milkshakes with condensed milk whipped cream // Glazed & Confused

Hello, old friends! 

Waaaaay too much has happened since we've last spoken. In no specific order: Mardi Gras left me with a broken knee and a broken phone and well... broke, Lady Gaga won like all of the Oscar's ever, I was featured as Yahoo's Blogger of the Week, and we all freaked out over a damn dress. (It's blue and black, let's be real.) Something's totally in the water right now. 

magic bar milkshakes with condensed milk whipped cream // Glazed & Confused
magic bar milkshakes with condensed milk whipped cream // Glazed & Confused

When life errs on the crazier side, I crave more simple pleasures. It makes sense really: when my mind is occupied with trying to be a student and a person at the same time, that special compartment where I dream up chicken and waffles cakes and king cake fries sometimes gets lost in the background. Right now, I'm on a major bar kick.... 

Magic bars. Seven layer bars. Hello Dolly bars. Whatever you call them, they're freaking delicious. 

magic bar milkshakes with condensed milk whipped cream // Glazed & Confused

While they're perfect on their own, I've recently discovered that magic bar milkshakes are the new frontier. Caramel and vanilla ice cream blended with graham crackers, chocolate chips, and butterscotch chips, then topped with condensed milk whipped cream, toasted coconut, pecans, and actual magic bar pieces. 

Spring Break diet, who? 

magic bar milkshakes with condensed milk whipped cream // Glazed & Confused

Magic Bar Milkshakes 

(makes two delicious milkshakes) 

  • 1 cup heavy cream
  • 1/4 cup sweetened condensed milk
  • 2 cups vanilla ice cream
  • 1 cup caramel ice cream 
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 2 graham crackers 
  • 4 tablespoons butterscotch chips
  • 2 tablespoons semisweet or milk chocolate chips 
  • 1/2 cup sweetened coconut, toasted 
  • 1/4 cup toasted pecans, chopped
  • chopped magic bars (optional)

make: 

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, combine the heavy cream and condensed milk and whip on high speed until stiff peaks form. Set aside. 

In a blender, combine the ice creams, milk, graham crackers, butterscotch and chocolate chips. Blend together until smooth. Immediately pour into glasses and top with condensed milk whipped cream, toasted coconut, and magic bar pieces. 

 

 

 

conversation heart pots de creme

conversation heart pots de creme // Glazed & Confused

How fitting is it that Friday the 13th falls the day before Valentine's Day this year? Hell yeah, morbidity!

Just in case your day goes to shit  and your boyfriend dumps you, I've got you covered. (That's what internet friends are for, right?) 

conversation heart pots de creme // Glazed & Confused
conversation heart pots de creme // Glazed & Confused
conversation heart whipped cream // Glazed & Confused

Pots de creme are my absolute favorite desserts. They are so so so simple to make and, let's face it, there are very few things as satisfying as digging into a rich, creamy, personal-sized custard. I've made them plenty of times before, but I wanted to keep it extra-indulgent (because #loveyoself) this time around, so I added in a little too much white chocolate and vanilla bean. Can you say, best mistake ever? 

Conversation hearts, on the other hand..... not my favorite. I often consider them the culinary equivalent of a stick of chalk. But really, they're just too damn cute not to make their way into my pantry every Valentine's Day. To make them more palatable, I ground them in a food processor and infused some heavy cream with the powdery dust. A pinch of salt, a good helping of vanilla, and a quick whip with the help of my stand mixer = the least Pepto Bismol-y, fluffiest conversation heart whipped cream to ever exist! I could bathe in this stuff. 

conversation heart pots de creme // Glazed & Confused

The recipe for these bad boys is up on west elm's Front + Main blog today! Check it out here!